Yesterday night ( as my son used to call it) was pretty wild. I broke from my norm of dance off with my pillow and blanky by ten o " clock, do you know where your children are to go party at my friends house.
I got there and was met at the door by MC ponytail mom, Boom Boom blanket boy, and DJ fat black cat. The chef of the evening was preparing a buffet to die for of Chicken in the round, Bacon and cheese encrusted Pomme De Terre, Steak Hache, boheme of Hummus and crudites, and a delightful cocktail with lime.
Seriously I can make it all sound pretty fancy. it was actually chicken nuggets, potato skins, hamburgers and hummus with carrots and Lime a Rita.
I thanked Chef for dinner and he said "Well it wasn't much and I said "Well I didn't have to cook or clean up which makes it really awesome!"
Boom Boom blanket boy got upset with his mom because she told him no more video games ( good for you mom), and stuck with her guns when he went through the 5 stages of loss and grief.
Denial- "No Mom I need to play just one more level."
Bargaining- "Mom five more minutes, OK five more seconds, one more level, please please please?"
Anger- "MOM your breaking my heart."
*This bitty kid reminds me of my 16 year old who does the EXACT SAME THING, you guys I may have crumpled on that one. I did feel really sorry for his mom who had a look on her face that said, "I'm tired and your hurting my feelings." Even though she didn't even know she had it.
Depression consisted of groaning, growling, and laying under his blanket when his Dad came over and squashed him into a baby ball until he started laughing.
Ponytail Mom and I went back to the bedroom where she was sorting through her clothes for summer storage, donations to Suited for Success or Goodwill.
It only looked like a closet intervention.
We covered everything from "How old is too old to make a big career change" * never if you can.
"Who used to be married to who and what happened", * it was a long time ago and everyone is happy now.
"Why its important for kids to see Moms have happiness and prosperity in their job" *Because if you are going to work do something you enjoy and make money.
AND "Whats the difference between a Tunic and a Dress" Apparently 40% off in the store.
All the while I was thinking about hard it is sometimes when your kids say stuff that hurts your feelings even when they are still in footie Jammie's like blanket boy, words hurt. Even though your the grown up, even though you know better, even with all that...Some days its harder than others.
So I took a deep breath and told her "You deserve respect. He hurt your feelings and he should apologize, he can't do better if he doesn't know." She said "I know, I will tell him." And I put my arms around her and I said "I know he's your baby and you love him, but your MY BABY."
Because sometimes it just comes to the point where mothers have to mother each other.
Because we all second guess ourselves, we are all wondering,
"How much is acting out because they are tired or hungry or just being a pain in the ass."
"Am I the only one who feels this way?"
"I wouldn't change being a Mom but Damn I AM TIE RED and this shits hard."
"I need a hug because I just do."
Later blanket boy did come in. My friend got down in the floor with him and they talked and he apologized and kissed her and talked about S'mores, and wheres my shoes, and I love you.
And I looked at her and thought "I'm really proud of you good job Mom, good job."