Monday, May 19, 2014

Headin to a Weddin

Conor and Larry have a tribe of folks they hang out with that all have become framily  through a mutual love of martial arts.

Recently two of our good friends Unkie Brian and Miss Amber asked us to come be a part of their special wedding celebration. We were thrilled and when the Friday evening came around we headed out as a family to what would turn into a cross between a Americas Funniest Home videos and a crash course in the Catholic faith.

We arrived at this intimate beautiful modern church. As we walk in strategically placed front and center in a built in sculpture made of carved wood, with small river rocks surrounding it is a large blue glass seashell full of water.

Conor: "Whats that?"

Me: "Holy Water."

Conor; "Can I have your cup and straw?"

Me: "What? WHY?"

Conor: "I want to take some Holy Water and see if it boils like in the movies."

Me: "No get away from there its holy water don't be sacrilegious!"

At this point a little boy tears from his father, runs by and throws a handful of pebbles in to the font of holy water while exclaiming "Its a fish tank!"

I grab Larry and Conor ( who is looking longingly at the seashell)  to go sit down thinking maybe we will be safer from social faux pas inside the sanctuary.

We go in and sit down and quietly talk to Jeff and Kayla who are behind us. Even as quiet as we are we are still getting the eyeball from a lot of older folks like when you acted bad as a kid someplace public and your mom would give you THAT LOOK you know the one?  Where you arm hair started to shrivel and burn a little?  And then there are shushings and SSSSSSSSS coming from around us.

I just shut up and turn around sinking a bit in the bench.

Then two of our other friends come in and immediately the lady whose very chatty and cheerful AND LOUD begins talking  to our friends behind us about her new Age Healing practice, and Larry hugs our other friend who says "What a beautiful space its so open it would make a great Dojo." Which makes me laugh and their is more church police eye and SSSSSSing going on and I'm thinking to myself  "We are like the loud country cousins who don't get out much to these people."


Finally it gets very quiet and the priest comes to the entry with his fancy Vestments on and trailing right behind him is a little guy in HIS robe carrying a huge cross.

At this moment Conor leans over and says in a loud whisper "WHAT THE HECK? IS THAT A CHILD PRIEST? They make kids be priests here?"

I say "No Alter boy alter boy priest helper."

Next Brian and his groomsmen come in,  its only about 5 steps from the entry to the alter and line up.

After that the Bridesmaids come and they do that step stop step stop thing for five steps.

Conor says "Why do they have to walk that way that looks crazy , the guys didn't have to do that is it just a girl thing I don't get it." I shake my head I don't know why....

We all do the Lords Prayer and I'm the only one who goes all the way to the end and am beet red and my friend Will leans over pats my arm and says "You just learned it better than everyone else." and winks at me which makes me want to laugh.

Then the priest picks up the bible and holding it in front of his face walks around the alter area several times. Conor asks "Why is he doing that isn't his arms going to get tired?" By now I'm as bewildered as him and don't even try to answer just shake my head.

Finally Brian and Amber are married and as we all walk out Conor can't stop himself and has to go stick his finger in the holy water, and then I say "Save it you might need it for a vampire."

All I can think of is Thank you sweet baby Jesus we didn't get thrown out of the wedding!

1 comment:

  1. You know better than to act like that in church. I can still give you that shrivel burn look. And don't you forget it little lady. I'll bet it was funny.