I Just prefer "Old School" for some things.
Like making a Dr. Appointments.
Or picking up medicine.
Conor, the boy who can deconstruct the indestructible ( why don't they have a 6.99 a month replacement plan like on your I-Phone I don't understand. ) had gone through yet another pair of glasses in a year and it was time.
I don't like going to the Mall or big chain eyeglass stores. I prefer to go to the Doctor close to my house.
He has a Office/ boutique in this hip Strip nestled in with trendy Pubs and art galleries and I like to try on the 20 pairs of designer, non gender specific, mod hipster frames ( that cost eleventy hundred dollars and I can't possibly afford even with insurance) while I wait for my appointment.
We have been there before so I'm thinking piece o cake, I'll just call and get us both appointments for Monday. They have everything on file from last time already it will be easy peasy.
I called last Wednesday to make the appointments. Dolly, the technician, tells me the Computer crashed last year and they lost a lot of information so would I mind giving her our Eye Care Insurance info.? I read everything off of the card and make sure the appointment time is on my calender.
I check my voicemail on Friday night and there is a call,
"Hi Mrs. Kelley its Dolly with Dr. X office calling to remind you about your appointments on Monday please call and confirm your appointment at blah blah time our number is 123-1234 thank you."
OK since I made the appointment and you just called and REMINDED me of the appointment why do I need to call you and tell you I got your reminder call about the appointment that you were confirming with the call that you just made? That's 3 phone calls for our appointments, (My Dentist does that too and I don't get it. I work off of appointments we call and confirm but don't usually ask you to call us back unless there is a question.) But I think well, maybe they are super busy and I call and leave a message
"Yes we are coming see you then."
Monday morning I get a voicemail its Dolly from Dr. X.
"Mrs. Kelley you are not showing up on the eye care plan you gave us can you check and make sure we got your husbands birth date correct?"
I call and give them his birth date and his group number again and nope its not showing up.
"Mrs. Kelley you can just file your insurance for reimbursement."
"Oh how much would that be?"
"99.00 each for your exams."
"Well let me keep trying to figure this out."
Conor has to get his
"Are we still on a vision care plan because its not showing us on this one."
"Yep its right here on my check stub , I can try to call HR but I don't know if anybody is there, because when the pipe broke it was in the basement and that's,"
"Where the HR office is." I sigh and finish that sentence.
"Yep. But let me try to call them."
Meanwhile I'm at the CVS Drive through trying to pick up a prescription. Because when somebody says they can out multi task me I say
I hand the tech the two scrips through the window and he says "Can I see your Driver License I have to punch it in the computer.
So I hand it to him and he says "Will you be coming back for these?"
I'm thinking to myself "Well I'm in the drive through so Captain Obvious I would like them now." I can feel my Queen of Snarky wanting to rear her nasty head at this poor guy so I don't open my mouth I nod and he says "Give me 20 minutes." and hands me back my license.
I go park in a spot in the back looking at a tree thinking , well at least I don't have to look at garbage cans while I wait, and I get a text from Larry telling me we have a new Eye Care Insurance plan and giving me all the info to call Dr. X with.
"Hi Dolly its me ( I feel like we are buddies now I have talked to her so many times ) I have some new info."
"You spoke to my associate let me get her for you."
"Hello Mrs. Kelley this is Dolly."
"Hi I just found out that we have a different plan so here's the info for you to look us up. Blah Blah Blah."
"Oh with that plan I have to have his birthday and the last four numbers of his Social Security to look it up."
"OK its blah blah blahgitty blah."
"Ive tried that twice Mrs. Kelley sometimes they get one little number or letter off so can you just give me his Social Security number?"
I don't like to admit this but I can barely remember MY OWN number. So I tell her I have to call her back with that and I send Larry a text "They want your Social Security number, your blood type, and what you had for breakfast." I wanted to add cheek swab and photo I.D. but I was afraid he would get annoyed.
He calls me and gives me the info and I call back ( this is the fourth call I have made in a hour trying to get this settled I'm truly in need of a stiff drink and thinking I probably should ask this Dolly if she'd like to meet me in the Pub next door to her office for a dirty martini even though they probably don't serve people at 9:30 in the A.M.) she answers sounding chipper as can be, which makes me feel guilty and like I should be even more chirpy because truthfully all I want to do is throw a two year old baby tantrum I'm so SICK of all the back and forth.
"Hello Dolly, ( inside I'm laughing hysterically and wanting to sing that to her and wondering if she would even know what that song was since she's probably only 19 and has never seen a musical except for GLEE.) its me again I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this but here's the Social please tell me its on there."
"Oh there it is Mrs. Kelley we have you both down see you at your appointments."
This discourse has taken approximately 20 minutes so I drive back to the drive through at CVS.
"Hi I'm here to pick up prescriptions for Suzanne Kelley."
She goes and picks them up from the basket.
"Do you have your CVS card and drivers license?"
"I don't have my CVS card but,"
She interrupts with "Whats your phone number I can look it up."
"Its 123-1234, and I just gave you guys my Drivers license."
"I have to punch it in the computer and you have to sign this and this."
She hands me my license, I give her money, she gives me drugs, shuts the window and I drive home.
While I'm driving home I think of when I was a kid and my mom would call and make my appointment with any Doctor. They would look at a book where it was written down when we walked in. My mom would hand them a insurance card and they would check it off on the book and my patient file. I'd see the Dr. and afterwards
we would go to the Pharmacy next door, hand our scrips over, sit down at the Soda fountain counter with the swively stools and order two sodas and our scrips would be finished before we were.
No 9 phone calls, and a text.
No drivers license twice.
And you got to hang out on a swively stool and have a Pop while you waited.
I miss the good old days...