Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Tick Tock its crazy dog time...

 My dogs make me crazy. I do crazy things to cope with them.

I don't bang the back door three times before I let the dogs out because I have OCD. I do it because

about 2 months ago at approximately 5:30 A.M. I let the dogs out to potty and they discovered a cat

hiding under a bush.  Now the cat being smart  took off. The only problem is both of them took off as

well across the next front yard, through the giant hedge, and into the next back yard. Knowing that cat

was toast if they caught it I ran screeching right behind them barefoot and in Pajamas,  wildly yelling at

them,  " NO NO CALI ROBYN COME BACK BEFORE I KILL YOU!"  Luckily the cat got away,

and I caught them before they got into the next county.  But not before every light on my block came

on and heads were peeping out as I slunk and limped back to my house muttering bad words as I

dragged Cali back to the house by her collar while Robyn trotted along behind like the conquering

victor. All of this went down in less than a minute and I'm sure everyone was not ready to get out of

bed yet.

Every Saturday at noon the Sirens go off. This makes the dogs howl. Well Cali howls and Robyn

sounds like a unoiled gear on a car that needs a brake job. This goes on for about 3 minutes.

Sometimes it followed by a round of barking as well. In their minds they are singing you the

song of their people.  I would just advise you to put on some Led Zeppelin at about five til Noon and

turn it up really loud. Or wear headphones. Or just leave.

This also happens if you get up to go to the bathroom upstairs at night or in the morning, or if everyone

comes home you can hear this cacophony coming through the walls of the house as you close the car


We also experience the one  Yorkie a leaping at the window in front as I come up the walk. It does not

matter if I have been gone for 5 minutes or 5 hours. Its the leaping at one window, and the entire body

wag of Cali at the other...Along with the screech, howl, bark, opera.

Then there is the litany of Potty time. When I go to the door the Yorkie, Robyn.  starts leaping in the air

and bouncing off my butt like "Dog de Soliel" . Cali the Cattle dog spins around and pushes her nose

into the back of my knees. This leaves me squished against the door. Then the next part,  it starts out

with the 3 bang of the back door, the dogs running out and the run around the fence 4 times, crash

through the bushes and dry leaves, trample through the leaves some more smelling everything, stop

and pee, then walk around for 5 minutes finding a place too, well, you know poo. I don't understand

the mystery decision of the perfect spot to poo because it changes every damn day. Sometimes its easy

out- go- back to the door.  Other days its back and forth over the yard a couple of hundred times ,

Chase a squirrel, chase a squirrel,  mill around in a tight spot 3 times, nope that's not it, back to smelling

around more. All the while I'm saying "Potty, lets potty come on ya'll its potty time, please potty." Then

I switch to "Go go better hurry, lets go better hurry, no Robyn get back here, no come, Robyn Robyn

don't poop on their driveway come back here you little ROBYN  GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!"

Meanwhile Cali is still searching for her perfect Nirvana of place to poo and I say"HURRY UP CALI"

20 times and Finally...


The cat is for another time...

No comments:

Post a Comment