Monday, December 30, 2013

Gone Baby Gone 2013

Time to think about the good the bad and the ugly of this past year.

The good,  well I did two big things in my do epic shit list, I did the COLOR ME RAD 5K with my

boy and I performed an original piece of writing in the First "Listen To Your Mother Show " in OKC.

That ranks right up there with gettin married and having a baby in my book.

All my homegirls were there and my hubby and son who had been my biggest cheerleaders!

My Texas folks and Florida girls got to come visit and they are a entertaining bunch for sure. Except for

Suni falling into the rose bush that part was not fun for anybody.

My Cousin Karen and her Hubby came through Oklahoma and it was so good to connect with my

Dads side of the family. They are lovely people and I'm sorry they live so far away in Yankee land.

 Had a wonderful Thanksgiving in Texas and all my family and my good friend Dolly came to my

house for Christmas day dinner.

I am relearning to live in the moment and be spontaneous like when I was a kid sometimes I forget how

fun that was because I'm so busy worrying about what might happen and being prepared in case

something goes wrong. Working on that one. Learning to trust. Learning to trust God and my own

heart to tell me when to say this is OK but this is not.

The bad. Well I guess Conor falling off the bridge and getting the concussion was the baddest thing. He

had a concussion and being in the ER with him and him not knowing for sure what month it was and

his scared little face that was bad.  Him just resting for 6 weeks he thought that was bad. We laid on my

bed and I read to him allot to keep him entertained that first two weeks ( but that belongs in the good

part*wink*) he hated not being able to skateboard, swim, and climb trees so he was hard to keep still.

But it could have been even more bad and it wasn't which I'm so grateful for.

This was Conors year for concussions, horrible sunburns, Sinus infections, hand sprains and thumb


The ugly.... I don't know if anything really ugly happened but I spent more than my share doing the

ugly crying this year.

Its been a emotional year, my son is a teenager and wants to push those boundaries, I have to deal with

counselors and teachers at his school and its always a delicate dance of how to be firm and assertive but

polite too, when you really want to go charging in like a Rhino...

Finding the balance for allowing him to work things out or stepping in.

Also learning to not depend on others for affirmation, being patient  with myself and others , setting

boundaries, giving myself and others grace. The grace of  releasing of my expectations, my ideas  of

how relationships and  friendships should be and letting go of that. Giving space and grace I need that

tattooed on my forehead.

Realizing growth is messy and kind of like a garden that gets torn up and tilled to bring out the bad so

the good can grow.

So here's a big Thank you to all the good, the bad, and the ugly that makes up my life because it softens

those edges and makes life shiny like a big ole diamond.

And a thank you to you, all of you have come in to shape this year of 2013 because as my friend Skip

says "When the student is ready the teacher will come." And aren't we all just doing both of those things

for each other? I love y'all, all y'all.

Hope your new year goes out with a big, bright, sparkly, BANG<3

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Grandma Power

Bobbie and Conor
So Christmas Day was winding down everyone was gathering thier stuff together to go home. All of us big girls ( my sisters)  were in the living room and one of the kids got in trouble for being sassy to thier Mama from me ( it takes a sassy to know a sassy right? Am I right?) . My Mom jumps in and declaring absolute matriarchial power stops us from getting onto the sassy pants declaring not everybody gets to get onto her at once because Grammas are always right you know when it comes to the  grandkids.

Thats why I am so glad of my moms special Grandma powers. She has known my son literally since the day he was born. He stayed with her all the time when he was a baby and I worked. They are ABSOLUTE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER. And thats the way it should be. Every kid should have a gramma who thinks they are perfect and amazing and will have a adventure whether they are at the comic book store, or watching Dr. Who or just turning somersaults in the grass because Gramma will cheer like they are in the Olympics.

My mom never misses a play even though the place was like 1000 degrees inside, comes to every concert and takes Conor on dates as often as he is out of school. She calls him and talks to him on the phone all the time. She always asks if he can come stay with her when he's out of school and sometimes its bonus and he gets all the cousins too.

Because of her super Gramma powers I never worry about him when he's there. I know he's safe. He's happy. He is having a good time.

So its been quiet around here. The only yelling was me and Larry fussing over how to put the sheets on the bed the other night. I watched a little TV with Larry and then headed upstairs. But before I went to bed   I stopped and looked at Conors bed and saw a little bear my Mom had given him on his birthday. A little green Shamrock bear. It will remind him of her. I thought about how wonderful it was that those two they are bonded forever. Because even when she is not here anymore Conor will always have those memories and that love she gives him will still be there because SUPER GRAMMA POWERS last forever.....

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

A friend for the end of the world

This week because of school being closed for snow days I got to hang out with my son.

We did some housework ( he helped me and I was behind him watching him lift some things into the


we read, drank hot cider, and watched a movie called "Looking for a friend for the end of the world."

I had been wanting to see it and he INSISTED on watching it with me. My boy will watch

romance/comedy with me where his Dad usually won't. Larry opted out with "I don't wanna watch

something depressing about the end of the world." So Dad went to bed and Conor I started watching.

it had some very funny parts where we died laughing  but then came a part of the movie where their is a

sacrifice of such love and kindness, a reconciliation between father and child ( which I have some huge

daddy issues and those things always move me deep inside) and a selfless act of love I of course burst

into tears and sob hysterically on the couch.

Conor: "Mom I told you it had a part you were gonna cry."

Me:" I know,  I know, its just oh now he's alone again and its the end of the world and WAAAHHHH."

Conor: "Mom its going to be OK."

Me: "I know sniff- jerk- breathe,  I know,  its just WAAAHHHH."

Conor gets out of his chair comes to the sofa with the box of Kleenex and leans over to me putting my 

head on his shoulder and patting me on my back while I cry. All the while he says "Mom it will be OK 

it all works out I promise." I blew my nose, pulled myself together  and restarted the movie. Then he 

hands me the Kleenex box plops next to me and puts his arm around me for the rest of the movie.

I rested my chin on top of his head and thought  about how this time his comforting had been different.

He sounded like a adult. His kneeling posture, his gentle strength, his calm voice. The table has turned

a bit. He will always be my child but tonite he stepped up and became my SON.  A glimpse of the fine

man he will be. I prayed that he would be able to be like that with his wife and children. gentle, strong,

kind, loving.

Oh and he was right. It did all work out beautifully at the end...

Tick Tock its crazy dog time...

 My dogs make me crazy. I do crazy things to cope with them.

I don't bang the back door three times before I let the dogs out because I have OCD. I do it because

about 2 months ago at approximately 5:30 A.M. I let the dogs out to potty and they discovered a cat

hiding under a bush.  Now the cat being smart  took off. The only problem is both of them took off as

well across the next front yard, through the giant hedge, and into the next back yard. Knowing that cat

was toast if they caught it I ran screeching right behind them barefoot and in Pajamas,  wildly yelling at

them,  " NO NO CALI ROBYN COME BACK BEFORE I KILL YOU!"  Luckily the cat got away,

and I caught them before they got into the next county.  But not before every light on my block came

on and heads were peeping out as I slunk and limped back to my house muttering bad words as I

dragged Cali back to the house by her collar while Robyn trotted along behind like the conquering

victor. All of this went down in less than a minute and I'm sure everyone was not ready to get out of

bed yet.

Every Saturday at noon the Sirens go off. This makes the dogs howl. Well Cali howls and Robyn

sounds like a unoiled gear on a car that needs a brake job. This goes on for about 3 minutes.

Sometimes it followed by a round of barking as well. In their minds they are singing you the

song of their people.  I would just advise you to put on some Led Zeppelin at about five til Noon and

turn it up really loud. Or wear headphones. Or just leave.

This also happens if you get up to go to the bathroom upstairs at night or in the morning, or if everyone

comes home you can hear this cacophony coming through the walls of the house as you close the car


We also experience the one  Yorkie a leaping at the window in front as I come up the walk. It does not

matter if I have been gone for 5 minutes or 5 hours. Its the leaping at one window, and the entire body

wag of Cali at the other...Along with the screech, howl, bark, opera.

Then there is the litany of Potty time. When I go to the door the Yorkie, Robyn.  starts leaping in the air

and bouncing off my butt like "Dog de Soliel" . Cali the Cattle dog spins around and pushes her nose

into the back of my knees. This leaves me squished against the door. Then the next part,  it starts out

with the 3 bang of the back door, the dogs running out and the run around the fence 4 times, crash

through the bushes and dry leaves, trample through the leaves some more smelling everything, stop

and pee, then walk around for 5 minutes finding a place too, well, you know poo. I don't understand

the mystery decision of the perfect spot to poo because it changes every damn day. Sometimes its easy

out- go- back to the door.  Other days its back and forth over the yard a couple of hundred times ,

Chase a squirrel, chase a squirrel,  mill around in a tight spot 3 times, nope that's not it, back to smelling

around more. All the while I'm saying "Potty, lets potty come on ya'll its potty time, please potty." Then

I switch to "Go go better hurry, lets go better hurry, no Robyn get back here, no come, Robyn Robyn

don't poop on their driveway come back here you little ROBYN  GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!"

Meanwhile Cali is still searching for her perfect Nirvana of place to poo and I say"HURRY UP CALI"

20 times and Finally...


The cat is for another time...

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Oh Chrismas Tree Oh Christmas Tree....

The Christmas tree debacles.

I have heard some great Christmas tree stories from my husband.

When he was a teenager he was putting the REAL Christmas tree up in the room for his mom.

He had to haul it up the stairs, covered in sap sticking to everything clothes, hair, skin...

Then he had to put it up for her.

If I remember correctly he was underneath it trying to adjust the little watering pan when a rat fell out of

the tree onto him and caused mass hysteria in the house. He screamed trapped under the tree with a rat

on him, his brother screamed and ran away leaving Larry to deal with the rat.

 I don't know who was more scared Larry or the rat. I wish someone could have caught that on film.

I bet it was better than Christmas Vacation.

The other great story was when his Mom talked him into putting lights up in the Palm Tree outside of

the Florida house. Now just in case you didnt know most palm trees are not like the ones you see that

are all smooth and easy to get up. Like in the movies? NOPE,  Nope. This one had rough bark and

stickers all over it and the fronds were really poky and it was TALL. After hours spent in that tree,

swearing and sweating and covered in scratches his Mom had her twinkly Palm Tree and was happy.

Right after we were married we took my Mom to Guthrie to buy her a real tree. We found the perfect

little tree and Larry wrestled it in to the trunk and bungee corded and hogtied it in.

He then carried it into the trailer and after moving it around three or four times to find the "right spot"

he got it in the living room and cut the string holding it. When those branches came down it was so

round and full there was hardly any room left for us. But he stayed there all day with me and helped my

Mom get all her decorations out and do the tree. Afterwards we all stood back and admired that perfect

tree and I looked at my husband who glanced over the top of my Mom's head ( who was just gushing

about her tree) and gave me a wink and a smile. After we got in the car I thanked him for helping and

he said "Hey that was the easiest tree ever!"

The things boys will do for thier moms...