Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Right there

Some days its just hard.

Tired of  housework and laundry and grocery store and cleaning a really old house with thousand year old dirt in it that seems to come back the next day.

Tired of feeling ashamed because the Vet says "You need to do this treatment for your dogs", and I have to say "I can't afford it." And I feel really crummy...

Tired of working to get my second business going and not seeing results.

Tired of being afraid and anxious.

Tired of feeling sorry for myself.....

Just tired of all of it. Just feeling thirsty and tired like I've been walking a dusty dirty road for a long time...

So I go sit on the porch, and put my arm around my Cali dogs neck and bury my face in her fur that smells, like good dirt and grass, and musky dog smell, and listen to her breathe and feel her warm.

I feel her  breath on my face and I look through her eyes at the top of the trees blowing the leaves and branches rattle, I lift my nose and I smell the rain coming on the wind and feel the dampness on my skin.

I'm listening to the wind and hearing the rain fall on the top of the tin garden decoration drumming and drops pour from the leaves and run down the rain chain and the smell of wet concrete fills my nose.

And my Cali buries her head in my chest and I'm in the minute not thinking of all the things making me tired just being being the rain and the breeze and the dog and feeling of  heaviness lifting from my back and shoulders and my heart feels a little lighter.

How do you quench your thirst?

With the love of a good dog

with the the simpleness of the rain

with accepting you can't change some things they just are what they are

with being grateful and wanting what you have right there in your life

right there....


  1. Suzanne, this post was absolutely beautiful, so pure. Thank you.

  2. Thank you Brandi for listening;) and sharing your heart....

  3. You have come a long way baby from that old apartment on Western where Kixxy hid in the top of the closet when you were robbed. Keep your feet steady on that ladder you are going back up. You are one of the most successful women I know. You have the most loving friends. Good baby. <3