Monday, April 15, 2013

Only the Nose Knows

Well there have been a lot of mistakes and mishaps, and missteps that I have committed in this lifetime. Who knows how many other ones my Karma is making me work out. I think one mistake I made actually brought out my super creative side.
 My boyfriend in the 70s, his mom  had this candle holder that was black and brown and looked like a tree stump face. You put the candle inside and it would make the eyes glow through. Kind've creepy but fascinating at the same time. She loved that thing and had it displayed in her living room on top of the TV.
Well one Saturday while everyone  was at work I was at thier house doing my laundry and playing with the dog Pepper, throwing this rubber ball around and it freakishly bounced off the dogs nose, hit the top of the TV and knocked that candle holder off. It landed on the carpet face first. The dog ran under the bed and I was mortified. I got out of the chair and picked it up, and yes his nose was  knocked off. Knocked his nose off to spite his face!
 I only had two hours til she would be home. What was I going to do? I could confess and be punished with silence for Lord only knows how long the big freeze out which I didn't relish since it had happened before ( But thats another story) oh no I have to figure something out... I rummaged in the kitchen til I found some super glue and glued his nose back on with it I had to stand and gently hold it in place for about 5 minutes. At one point my fingernail got glued to it and I barely got it off. But then it had a big white mark where it had broken off. Shit Im in trouble now what, I found a bottle of brown nail polish in the bathroom and painted that on the nose but it looked too shiny so  then I went outside and got a little dirt and rubbed that on there. I rubbed with a tissue and filled in all the cracks and then took a black marker and lightly went over it. Well it looked pretty good to me so I put it back on the TV. VOILA MR. BROWN NOSE is fixed.

Two weeks later we were putting our stuff together for a garage sale and I was helping her and saw the candle holder on the table. "What? Your getting rid of Mr. Brown Nose?"
 She said "Yep, I always hated that thing but since so and so got it for me I acted like I liked it but the other day it accidently fell off the TV and his nose broke off so I glued it back and Im going to sell it in the Garage sale."

Guess who bought Mr. Brown Nose? I think he's probably in the attic, somewhere, with his dirty nose...

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