Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Feet on FAR

5 years ago I told COnor I'd do the Memorial Marathon 5K  with him. Well it seemed like I always had some excuse for not doing it and I realized that when he turns 13 he will be like "YUK hang out with my Mom no way." So I knew a lot of people who did this really fun 5K last year called Color Me Rad and asked him if he wanted to do it with me. He said "Um Yeah!" So I decided I'd start training with this program my friend told me about called Couch to 5K. Basicaly it starts out with 30 minutes ( hang with me I know its not very entertaining yet) 5 min warm up 60 sec. of jogging, then walking for 90 seconds alternating for 20 min. That didnt sound too tough as I had walked 2.5 miles the day before and woke up feeling fine. 

So I strapped on my tennies ( which I like to refer to as my "FEET ON FAR" a phrase Larry uses when he's teaching water aerobics and you are about to haul ass til the top of your head flies off)
And took off so far so good walking like the chase a toddler speed  along to some Black Eyed Peas then this pretty little voice says "start running" . Now if you know me you know I might like to think I look like this. But truly unless I have something like this behind me Im not really going to run but I can do a little trot. And 60 seconds piece of cake! So then a little panting but Im good still moving.
 Then again "start running" ok Im moving Im moving sheesh.  Starting to sweat and feel kind of hot and then just when I catch my breath "start running. 

 ARE you kidding me? Already? So Im going but not happily and I sound like I need a breathing treatment. I hit pause on the timer down some water start again. Gettin tired then there it is "start running". Im thinking  really I just did that! But I get after it. I can't believe it its only been like10 minutes. Then there she is again I picture this perfect face wearing a headset all cool in her perfect little workout gear sayin "start running". 

RUNNING? Really Im barely able to do it but I kick it up a notch from walking to the mailbox speed to being chased by a kitten speed and it feels like my calves are on fire, my ass is on fire. OH MY GOD IM SO OUT OF SHAPE! Oh thank you Lord I get to walk and Im now walking like Im in one of those dreams where you feet are stuck in the ground and here comes that freaking BITCH "start running" please BITCH ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! At this point I decided that I would have to pretend The Texas Chainsaw murderer was behind me and I work myself up to a hair above the feet in mud speed. Those bleachers are looking good, I wonder if anyone will notice if I fall over on one and don't move for the rest of the day..."start running" "No way you mother f-in bitch sent from hell to torment me why don't you just get a damn cat o nine tails and start smacking me on the back with it....and "COOL DOWN". oh. Oh its almost over, ITS ALMOST OVER. I fall onto the bleacher pour 1/2 my water down the front of my shirt and the other 1/2 in my mouth. By this time Im shuffling along like this but you know what I finished.  And next time I will finish better.

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