Tuesday, August 21, 2012

DOG Mouth Hall of Fame

If you have ever had a baby or a dog you know you have to keep stuff picked up or they will put it straight into thier mouths. And I have these two that no matter what they find a way to get to things. I could have them in a pen on a concrete pad and they would find a way to get hold of SOMETHING.


The great and pwerful Cali was a closet chewer. She was so good at hiding her addiction my flip flops were missing for two weeks before I found them under her bed pad in her crate where she had hidden them away like a rubber candy bar. Next up was several of Conors stuffed toys. We finally put a baby gate in the entrance to his room. She would lurk in the hall way waiting for a chance to sneak in and kill Snoopy. Maybe she hated that he was dressed as an Easter Bunny. Maybe she felt it was better to put him out of his misery. Who knows. But he and the Duck toy were buried in the back yard with honors.
Cali the Destroyer
Dead Flip Flop
The Colonoscopy Beads
Robyn looks innocent doesn't he?
I think its dead now
Now this guy, Robyn, he started out in the open. He had found a stuffed toy a friends baby left at my house and after pulling its entire face off he went to work on its butt which was weighted with those little poly beads so it would sit up. He then tore the sack open and ate the entire bag which was about the size of a well stuffed tea bag. I caught him in the act and took some of the beads up to my vets office. The receptionist burst out laughing and said "Well, just follow him around he'll be "Passing" those for awhile." That dog didn't poop poop. He pooped beads for about two days. His colon was probably clean and fresh as a brand new garden hose.

Next up is dirty socks. Not just any dirty sock either. They don't want mine or Larrys. they are not crusty with mud or nearly smelly enough. This was a sock that Conor had worn from friday night to sunday afternoon during a boy scout camp out.  It was so bad that you needed to burn it and BURY the ashes.  They worked on this one for awhile apparently because I found it behind the couch in what I call "the nest" which is a pile of doggy beds and a wool blanket their Goddad Will gave them to cuddle up in. I believe they would pull it it apart one thread at a time because I never found bits of it anywhere.




Mmmm dirty smelly socks
another good detox item
Who needs a shredder
We also never leave paper towels, paper cups, plastic cups, the containers of parmasan cheese from the Pizza, packetes of hot sauce or ketchup on the table. Robyn will jump on the arm of the chair and run off with those things which he hides in the nest but does share with Cali can't be greedy you know.  You also can't leave the door to the mudroom open after Cali ate a ahem feminine product ( I have no idea how she got the lid of the step on trash can open)  and he ate part of a roll of toilet paper I was once again on poop patrol for two days to make sure the said items showed up at some point. They did but EUGGHH.
Yums plastic cup! Try stepping on one of these in the dark  its like  a being attacked
Just chewed on the fircracker.
This was a almost dried up one thank goodness
Beer salt will make ya thirsty!
Robyn found Conors magic marker and looked like a little  man in a beard who had put on his lipstick while he was drunk. I washed his face with shampoo til he tried to bite me but he had a faint pink glow around his mouth for awhile...

This was a fresh beer salt Larry bought but didn't get to have since we found what was left in Calis bed and all over the floor. Larry hollered pretty loud about that but got over it. The dogs hung around the water bowl all night like Frat boys at a beer bong.

I also have had to pry open the mouth of Robyn the bottomless maw of strange items and remove the remnants of a blown up firecracker which didn't actually get eaten but did make it into the hall of fame for being chewed like a cheerleaders bubble gum.



Conors math homework

This was Conors math homework which he had worked all weekend on to get finished and was due on Tuesday. I actually took a picture and sent it to his math teacher with an email and his teacher replied with "As cliche as it sounds I have had this before send him in I will give him more time." Thank you GOD I thought Conor was going to have to duct tape his head back on. No one knows how they managed to get the homework off the Dining room table since the door was closed but they are sneaky.
Yummy Mr. Hornworm
And last but not least is this guy. Robyn was under the coffee table about 3 minutes acting like he had a rattlesnake. Who knows how this fella hitched a ride into the house but I know he was slobbier than a dog park tennis ball when I rescued him and threw him outside. He probably was thrown into such a shock he went into premature cocoon stage and became a moth as fast as he could so he could get the hell out of yard. 

I have told myself i will not be surprised at what I find has gone into the mouth. It would be nice if I found a diamond ring in the poop someday...






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