Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Im jus livin

I'm jus livin

I got some plaid pajamas
and a coonskin cap,
doncha know Mama
that's where its at?

Eatin straight from the box
thats good ice cream.
Cartoons on the TV
 I'm livin the dream.

I just try to always want
what I already got,
sad to some people
doesn't seem a lot.

Towers of Lego blocks,
rockets to the moon,
planning my trip
I'll be there soon.

Im gonna fly there
on  butterfly wing,
                                                                               carrying a magic sword
                                                                               and a golden ring.

                                                                               My dog and me
                                                                               jus travlin long,
                                                                               got hopes and dreams,
                                                                               Im livin on a song.

                                                                                Livin on a beautiful song....    

 Inspired by my boy
Suzanne Kelley 8/28/2012      

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

DOG Mouth Hall of Fame

If you have ever had a baby or a dog you know you have to keep stuff picked up or they will put it straight into thier mouths. And I have these two that no matter what they find a way to get to things. I could have them in a pen on a concrete pad and they would find a way to get hold of SOMETHING.

The great and pwerful Cali was a closet chewer. She was so good at hiding her addiction my flip flops were missing for two weeks before I found them under her bed pad in her crate where she had hidden them away like a rubber candy bar. Next up was several of Conors stuffed toys. We finally put a baby gate in the entrance to his room. She would lurk in the hall way waiting for a chance to sneak in and kill Snoopy. Maybe she hated that he was dressed as an Easter Bunny. Maybe she felt it was better to put him out of his misery. Who knows. But he and the Duck toy were buried in the back yard with honors.
Cali the Destroyer
Dead Flip Flop
The Colonoscopy Beads
Robyn looks innocent doesn't he?
I think its dead now
Now this guy, Robyn, he started out in the open. He had found a stuffed toy a friends baby left at my house and after pulling its entire face off he went to work on its butt which was weighted with those little poly beads so it would sit up. He then tore the sack open and ate the entire bag which was about the size of a well stuffed tea bag. I caught him in the act and took some of the beads up to my vets office. The receptionist burst out laughing and said "Well, just follow him around he'll be "Passing" those for awhile." That dog didn't poop poop. He pooped beads for about two days. His colon was probably clean and fresh as a brand new garden hose.

Next up is dirty socks. Not just any dirty sock either. They don't want mine or Larrys. they are not crusty with mud or nearly smelly enough. This was a sock that Conor had worn from friday night to sunday afternoon during a boy scout camp out.  It was so bad that you needed to burn it and BURY the ashes.  They worked on this one for awhile apparently because I found it behind the couch in what I call "the nest" which is a pile of doggy beds and a wool blanket their Goddad Will gave them to cuddle up in. I believe they would pull it it apart one thread at a time because I never found bits of it anywhere.

Mmmm dirty smelly socks
another good detox item
Who needs a shredder
We also never leave paper towels, paper cups, plastic cups, the containers of parmasan cheese from the Pizza, packetes of hot sauce or ketchup on the table. Robyn will jump on the arm of the chair and run off with those things which he hides in the nest but does share with Cali can't be greedy you know.  You also can't leave the door to the mudroom open after Cali ate a ahem feminine product ( I have no idea how she got the lid of the step on trash can open)  and he ate part of a roll of toilet paper I was once again on poop patrol for two days to make sure the said items showed up at some point. They did but EUGGHH.
Yums plastic cup! Try stepping on one of these in the dark  its like  a being attacked
Just chewed on the fircracker.
This was a almost dried up one thank goodness
Beer salt will make ya thirsty!
Robyn found Conors magic marker and looked like a little  man in a beard who had put on his lipstick while he was drunk. I washed his face with shampoo til he tried to bite me but he had a faint pink glow around his mouth for awhile...

This was a fresh beer salt Larry bought but didn't get to have since we found what was left in Calis bed and all over the floor. Larry hollered pretty loud about that but got over it. The dogs hung around the water bowl all night like Frat boys at a beer bong.

I also have had to pry open the mouth of Robyn the bottomless maw of strange items and remove the remnants of a blown up firecracker which didn't actually get eaten but did make it into the hall of fame for being chewed like a cheerleaders bubble gum.

Conors math homework

This was Conors math homework which he had worked all weekend on to get finished and was due on Tuesday. I actually took a picture and sent it to his math teacher with an email and his teacher replied with "As cliche as it sounds I have had this before send him in I will give him more time." Thank you GOD I thought Conor was going to have to duct tape his head back on. No one knows how they managed to get the homework off the Dining room table since the door was closed but they are sneaky.
Yummy Mr. Hornworm
And last but not least is this guy. Robyn was under the coffee table about 3 minutes acting like he had a rattlesnake. Who knows how this fella hitched a ride into the house but I know he was slobbier than a dog park tennis ball when I rescued him and threw him outside. He probably was thrown into such a shock he went into premature cocoon stage and became a moth as fast as he could so he could get the hell out of yard. 

I have told myself i will not be surprised at what I find has gone into the mouth. It would be nice if I found a diamond ring in the poop someday...

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Growing pains....

Skinny Jeans Man
2 1/2  years old
 Conor started Jr. High this week. He is going to a combination of Jr. High and High School all in one. He looks like a 13 or 14 year old to most people like in this "First Day of School" picture.

However this picture to your right is a more realistic depiction.

In the case of Conor vs growing Pains he has regressed to his much younger self.

He does not want to take the time to shower. He does not like to shower before bed. I have to ride his ass every night "Conor go take a shower." "Mom can't I just wait til the morning Im not dirty." This is said with a straight face as I look at him with stains covering his clothes from head to toe, dirt under his fingernails, and a smudge of ketchup on his chin. "It was 9 million degrees today you have to wash the sweat and dirt off of your face, hair, pits, and privates. Oh and your feet don't forget your feet."  Flumping, sighing, eye rolling, and groaning he heads upstairs where he gets in the shower for 2 hours. I don't know what he's doing in there because sometimes I have to make him go back and wash his hair he says, "I forgot."

Man cub
He sleeps A LOT.
 After the shower he's so relaxed he just falls over into bed. BUT his room has to be warm. And he has to have covers on at all times. I go in to kiss him goodnite and he's sweaty. I wipe his hair away from his face and ooooch the covers down to help him cool off and he grabs them. "No I dont want to get cold stop!" Its dark, warm and like a cave  in his room even in the daytime. He buries himself under the clean clothes on his bed so you can't find him. Saturday his Dad thought he had run away til he found him upstairs still asleep and it was past noon, camoflauged by the bunches of clumped up comforter...

He's ALWAYS hungry. He can eat breakfast at 9 and he's ready for lunch at 10:30. And I mean his lunch , your lunch, and whatever anyone else leaves on the plate. Don't leave food on the counter longer than 20 minutes because he wants it.( But at least he asks first. Cali the cattle dog smelled the bag of tacos pulled it right off and helped herself last week.) I have to carry food in my purse again because he will always ask for something. He's a Great white shark disguised as a little glasses wearing geek boy.

Dads clothes 
So I was thinking about all this wierd stuff and told Larry I thought maybe he was a pod boy alien. You know the dirt, the dark, the food, all the sleeping.... and in saunters Conor wearing his Dads clothes out of the laundry basket just like when he was about 3.  And It suddenly dawned on me, he's having a growth spurt just like when he was a baby! He always did this right before he grew up about 4 inches and gained 5 more pounds. My boy is getting ready to really shoot it up.  In a few months he's going to be taller than me I bet. This makes me glad because he's healthy but sad because Im losing my baby. 

But this past couple of weeks Conor has been coming in and snuggling with me at night. And early this morning I somehow ended up with him in my armpit . I know he'd been there  a long time because my whole arm was asleep and I was crammed in between him and Larry dying of a heat stroke.
I started to get up but instead I pulled my arm out and looked at his face, really looked at it. And marveled over his sweet still round little lips and cheeks and how he was cuddled up to me and asked myself "how do Mamas do it? How do they ever get used to not havin thier babies in thier arms when they grow up?"  
So Im having growing pains too it seems...

Monday, August 6, 2012

Dancing Queen

watch this first little girl dancing  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJrRL93Faao

A lot of mornings when I come back to the house after I drop off Conor  Im alone and I pick a song to listen to and I do my "Happy Dance."

I really feel like the little girl dancing inside but my 50 year old body does not look as cute or work as well as hers does. But because Im alone I just dance all over and dont worry about it and let myself be happy. It makes me feel like I did dancing with my Yayas in Jr High and High school all of us crammed into the little living room, or dancing in the garage in the summer, or when I got older and would go out dancing with my friends so happy, so full of joy and life and beauty.

Well one morning Larry caught me before I was going to work doing my secret dancing and I decided I didn't care I was going to just keep dancing anyway and after I watched it I thought "Maybe it will inspire some of my other friends who think they are too old,  or dignified, or feel silly or whatever to dance and get happy feet then Im puttin it out there.

 Do I look silly? Probably. Do I care not a bit.

 So put on some GoGos or Beatles, or Led Zeppelin or whatever makes your feet move and get busy....

You be your own Dancing Queen full of joy , beauty, and life.


Monday, July 9, 2012

The secret of Happiness

Conor has been going to Buy For Less with me all summer to help with shopping and carrying and learning about being on a budget. So off we go once a week yesterday was our day. As we were leaving we saw one of the employees Dawkins cleaning gum off the pavement outside. It was hot, muggy, and he had a little teeny hand broom, a bucket,  a scraper, and dustpan. He would holler in a singsong voice to people going in the doors about 10 feet away" HELLOOOOOO how are YOUUU?" They would smile and wave or holler back Hellooo!. Or as they were walking out "Thank you have  great Sunday."

Conor was getting in the car and said-
"Have you ever noticed how happy that guy is Mom? I mean he is   like making those people acknowledge him but in a JOYFUL way sort of pushy happiness ya know? I wonder how come he's always so happy?"
I said "Well lets ask him."
So I pulled up beside him and rolled down the window, Conor said "Hey um er excuse me Sir you are always so happy we just wondered what your secret was everytime we come here you are always happy."
"Well", he says smiling in his green cap and apron, "Its all about Jesus, but you can't be concerned with all thats out here", then pointing at his heart with his little broom he answered, "Its all gotta be from here thats where happy comes from, I gotta wife and three kids and I been through alot but Im goin OK now and Im so glad I just dont have anything to be unhappy about ever, so I try to help other people be happy too." He was so earnest and sweet standing in his little ball cap and apron waving his broom around I laughed and said "Thanks Dawkins for sharing we really enjoy running into you."
Conor said "Mom he's so cool." I agreed He is one cool guy. Cool like a happiness Bruce Lee....

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Makin the sex

Maybe im thinking about makin the sex here. I can't remember...
I grew up in apartments and when I started wearing make up I discovered it was alot easier to take it in the living room where there are windows than the bathroom which had the crappiest lighting in the world.  Since then every place I have lived I have always put my makeup on in the living room. Plus I can watch TV and make sure COnor is eating and not goofin off before school. ( yes I will get to the sex part in a minute hold your horses!)

Also the other day Larry and I watched a movie where a young woman walks in the living room barely dressed where another couple has come to visit and asks her boyfriend "We are makin the sex with them?' Which totally cracked me up. I loved her phrasing.

So its Friday morning. Im doing my makeup,  a movie is on TV,  The wife is begging the husband to come upstairs because they have not had sex for a week. Conor walks in and sits down to eat his cereal as the scene switches to the couples little boy going outside to sit on the porch after his folks run upstairs.

Conor: "Whys the little boy outside?"

Me: "Because he doesn't want to hear his parents."

Conor :" Hear his parents do what?"

Me: "Hear his parents upstairs makin the sex."

Conor: "WHAT? They should not do that with a baby in the house!"

Me: "Conor people don't stop makin the sex just because they have kids, we did it all the time."

Conor: " Wait what? No I didn't need to know that Mom! But you don't not now..."

Me: " Yes now your Dad and I  still have sex. "

Talk about shock and raw.... Totally scarred for life. Therapy til he's oh 80...

Then I told him a funny story about my friend. She was about 9. She came in and heard her parents. She realized what they were doing and was so traumatized she went out to her tree house, ate a entire box of cookies, crying for hours because she thought they didnt have sex because she was adopted so why would they need to do that?

Get a room you two!

At the same time Larry walked in. I was standing up and he grabbed me said " Hey COnor Im kissing your Mom" and gave me a big ole smooch...

COnor ran screaming away....

We got in the car and I said are you OK? He said I guess. I said OK you think thats bad let me tell you some stories about you and your penis......

My poor poor child, he laughed all the way to school...

Monday, January 2, 2012


Larry and I had an interesting conversation yesterday about Spirituality.  What it means to different people. My perception of spirituality is probably not going to be the same as yours. My friend says hers is love and friendship.  That when she is surrounded by people who love her it feels like it fills her spirit.
My son was the most  open. He said when he thinks of spirituality he thinks of relationship with God and his connection. Praying for someone hopefully believing in it or just praising God during worship.
He also mentioned feeling a sense of meditation and connectedness when he rides his skateboard, skimboarding in the surf a sort of moving in the moment not thinking just moving. Or playing his cello getting lost in it. But my favorite was when he said "Im alone in the peace an quiet I have been looking for and am in a mode where I am alright within my space."

 I think probably a broad def. would be when you think about your place in the world, why you are here, what you believe about life, your connectedness, meditation, prayer, praise....
When I consider what moves my spirit one of the things I think of is when two people are deeply in love and create a life.  I knew the night I conceived my son. I felt as if I had been made new in the arms of my husband. The idea of loves life force being made into flesh is very profound. Like Gods son
 Loving on and caring for animals. The sweetness of animals, the unconditional love they offer. When I consider the place they have in this world and how dependant we are on them... Gods garden
The mountains. Just the heigth , the ruggedness, the look of touching the sky. My smallness next to what has been on the planet and will remain even after we are long gone. Gods hand...
The beauty and power of music. The dance between student and teacher, the work between cello and fingers, the knowledge that thier has been this ritual since the creation of beat and rhyme and story...Gods voice
A place. Whether a place of joy or profound sadness like this place where they put the Indians to begin the walk up the trail of tears. My ancestors who walked that trail .....Gods pain

old friendship. My friend and I made these footprints together. 30 years before we had stood together on the same sand and made footprints. Feeling connected on a level like nobody else. I think only women who have been through alot together can be spiritually bound like I am to her. Gods compassion
The ocean. the power, the life force, the fact that it can caress you and the next minute sweep you off never to be seen again. Gods power
Light and dark. How we must have both. Birth and death, pleasure and pain, bitter and sweet,
Sunrise and sunset, storms and then the calm, Gods will....

As COnor says SPIRICHOOL is a mode where Im alright within my space...