Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Losing My religion



Christians in other countries are thrown out all the time. They get tossed out for having clinics in Africa, building water wells, teaching people how to read, giving away bibles, oh AND for spreading the gospel of Christ. Now I know this. I know that it says all over in the bible you will get bashed for being a believer.

"Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted."
2 Timothy 3:12

I get it...I sure get tired of it though.

You can be a Agnostic, a Wiccan, a Buddhist, make up your own one size fits all religion and the" embrace diversity" people will be "That's so great and you know so what if other people don't get it you have to create your own path."

But boy mention Christianity and wow many of these same people are ready to jump up and start pointing fingers at you small minded, judgmental, nasty, greedy people ruining the planet, who believe in a archaic book of mythology, and a guy named Jesus.

However if you are one of those open minded, independent , culturally diverse free thinkers chew on this, shouldn't each person be given a chance and not just lumped in a big box with those crazy people protesting at funerals, the telly-Evangelists like Jim Bakker or my favorite the really big time preacher Oral Roberts and founder of a huge university right here in my own state who said "THE LORD is gonna call me home if I don't get x amount of dollars donated to my church."

Shouldn't you open your mind to each individuals life and relationship with JESUS? Yes I said relationship. Its not about what "kind" of church you go to . Its relationship with the trinity, Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Its living day to day with that in your core.

If you sat down with me and talked to me about my life and many of the other believers I know you would find that we have the passion to change the world through acts of service, comfort, prayer,donations of time and money, those we see need help and it doesn't matter if they believe the way we do. That's not where the heart is. Its about being as much like Christ as we can. When someone comes to me crying their eyes out because they have had their world broken do you think I say "Sorry your an Atheist go cry on someone else."?

And then there is the bible. How credible do you think I'd be if I tried to take the Quran and add things to it to meet my own agenda, to have it conform to my lifestyle, twist it up and make it more acceptable for whatever I happened to believe in at that time?

You know the "You cant take it literally mindset?" How about the 10 commandments? Can I take that literally? Or Turn the other cheek? How about No greater love hath a man than to lay down his life for his brother? I take all of those literally.

You don't have to believe in the bible. But if your so enlightened and progressive shouldn't it be OK for me to believe what I do and be respected and not mocked? IF ALL BELIEFS ARE EQUAL then my worship and love of Jesus is as well and should be treated as such.

If you can accept my beliefs great, if not and you put me in with all those intolerant, judgmental Christian types that you are so well acquainted with you are as bad as they are. Predjudice is predjudice.































Tuesday, April 19, 2011

5/6/2009 Before I was a Mom

Singing music from "Spamalot"
Now he reads to me...

I am adding something to this was not in the original....

Before I was a Mom
I'd never been pooped on, fed a pear with poop on it, chewed on, peed on, puked on.
I had complete control of my mind and slept really well at night.

Before I was a Mom I never held a little one down so they could do tests or give him a shot and I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin and I never sat up late just to watch a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down, I had never felt my heart burst into a million pieces when I couldnt stop the hurt. And I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew I could love someone so much and I never knew how I'd love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom I never knew the feeling of having my heart outside of my body, or how special it would feel to feed a hungry baby. I didnt know the bond between Mother and child, or that someone so small would make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom I never got up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure everything was OK. I had never known the the warmth, joy, love, satisfaction, wonderment, or heartache of being a Mom.

I didnt know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom....



3/31/09 Songbirds where you least expect it.

So there I am on my bi-weekly trip thru Walingworld. I enjoy the grocery shopping as much as I enjoy getting my teeth cleaned but its tolerable. I have my favorite clerks. One is from New Orleans she came here during Katrina and decided to stay. She's always friendly and smiling and remembers you. (They all should Ive been haunting the place since it was built. ) One time I got bald-headed earring guy who tried to tell me I couldn't come in his line because I had 25 items not 20. He and I had words and now he gives me the stink eye every time he see's me. No one in line minded that I had 25 items and Id been in line forever because he was having trouble with the register. We had all been very patient waiting and waiting AND WAITING because his royal majesty had to make sure all the canned foods were all lined up or some sorta nonsense. Anyway I could not believe he was making such a fuss. I'd have snatched him bald headed but he already was so some one else must have beat me to it.

So Im meandering up to the front thinking about all the things I have to do and I hear this wonderful voice singing some Aretha Franklin. Just singing with all her heart. I started smiling and thought that was so fun to hear that joy ringing out over the store. I figured it was someone singing along to their I-pod maybe. But no, it was Janetta the singing Check out girl. So of course now I have to get in her line every time.

I asked her the other day when I walked up "What are your going to sing today?" She belted out some R&B I don't know who it was but it was very good and she sang while she rang stuff up and took my money. I said" Janetta I love to hear you sing when Im in here." She said "Well some people look and act like its killin them to hear me, but one of my customers said "Oh they are just hatin on you because you are SO HAPPY!"
"Why shouldn't I be happy? I woke up in good health, I got a roof over my head, a job to go to, God loves me, I have all the reasons to be happy."
God bless her its changed my shopping experience. Head over to Belle Illse Wal Mart. You won't have to ask for her, just listen for the songbird......

4/13/2009 What Do think? Defend Americans Defend the country!

You come onto a boat with guns, you hold the American captain hostage in a life raft, you demand money to let him go. I AM GOING TO SHOOT YOUR ASS OFF IF THATS WHAT IT TAKES TO GET HIM BACK SAFE.

Somali pirates vow retaliation after captain freed

AP – Crew members celebrate on the deck of the Maersk Alabama after their captain was released, in Mombasa's …
By MALKHADIR M. MUHUMED and MOHAMED SHEIKH NOR, Associated Press Writers – Sun Apr 12, 9:17 pm ET
MOGADISHU, Somalia – Somali pirates on Monday vowed to retaliate for the deaths of three colleagues who were shot dead by U.S. Navy snipers hours before in a daring nighttime assault that freed a 53-year-old American captain.
The Navy Seals late Sunday rescued freighter Capt. Richard Phillips, who had been held by pirates on a lifeboat that drifted in the Indian Ocean for five days.
"Every country will be treated the way it treats us," said Abdullahi Lami, one of the pirates holding a Greek ship anchored in the pirate den of Gaan, a central Somali town.
"In the future, America will be the one mourning and crying," he told The Associated Press by telephone. "We will retaliate for the killings of our men."
He gave no details and it was not clear in what way the pirates could retaliate, though some fear they could take their revenge on the hundreds of other foreign nationals they hold on seized ships.
The rescue dealt a blow to pirates who regularly seize passing ships and hold them captive until multimillion dollar ransoms are paid. But it is unlikely to help quell the region's growing pirate threat, which has turned the Gulf of Aden and the waterways along Somalia's coast into some of the most dangerous shipping lanes on the planet.
Pirates currently hold more than a dozen foreign ships, most moored along the Horn of Africa nation's long coast, with about 230 foreign sailors from Russia to the Philippines.
The American rescue followed a similar operation Friday carried out by French navy commandos, who stormed a pirate-held sailboat, the Tanit, in a shootout at sea that killed two pirates and freed four French hostages. The French owner of the vessel was also killed in the assault.
Residents of the Somali town of Harardhere said tensions were growing there.
Abdullahi Haji Jama, who owns a clothing store in the town, said: "We fear that the pirates may retaliate against the foreign nationals they are holding."
But he also said people feared "any revenge taken by the pirates against foreign nationals could bring more attacks from the foreign navies, perhaps on our villages."
Vice Adm. Bill Gortney, commander of U.S. Naval Forces Central Command, said the American operation "could escalate violence in this part of the world, no question about it."
Jamac Habeb, a 30-year-old self-proclaimed pirate, told The Associated Press that the three pirates' deaths were "a painful experience." Speaking from the pirate hub, Eyl, he added: "this will be a good lesson for us."
"From now on, if we capture foreign ships and their respective countries try to attack us, we will kill them," Habeb said. "Now they became our number one enemy," he said of U.S. forces.
So far, at least, it has been rare for Somali pirates to harm captive foreign crews.
Several years ago, a crew member of a Taiwanese fishing boat hijacked for six months was killed by pirates, but no reason was given but it appeared to be an isolated incident, according to Noel Choong, who heads the International Maritime Bureau's piracy reporting center in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. No reason was given but it appeared to be an isolated incident, he said.
Somalia has been engulfed in fighting and anarchy since the 1991 overthrow of Siad Barre, and remains today a country with no effective government, a nation ruled by tribal clans.
The piracy scourge appears to have evolved partly out of an attempt by Somali fishermen to protect their waters against illegal foreign trawlers who were destroying their livelihoods. Some of the vigilantes morphed into pirates, lured by the large profits they could win in ransoms.
Somalia's prime minister welcomed the U.S. Navy's operation Sunday.
"The Somali government wanted the drama to end in a peaceful way, but anyone who is involved in this latest case had the choice to use violence or other means," Abdulkhadir Walayo, the prime minister's spokesman, told The Associated Press. "Anyway, we see it will be a good lesson for the pirates or anyone else involved in this dirty business."
Pirates were defiant though, vowing the events would not stop them form seizing more ships.
One pirate vowed the events would not stop them from targeting more ships.
"The mere killing of three and capturing one will not make us change our mind," said one pirate holding a German ship anchored in the Somali town of Harardhere who refused to give his name. "We are determined to continue our business regardless of the recent killings and arrests."

Monday, April 18, 2011

Ugly furniture 3/09/2009




So for about 3 months i have been looking for a couch. I don't care if its a used couch just attractive, clean, well made, not too expensive.

I have looked in the stores and not seen anything new that just screamed take me home Im perfect. So I thought I'd just get on the internet.

I have been perusing Craigs List. I cannot believe the stuff they have on there. It is the most hideous upholstry I have ever seen. Who honestly wants a couch with chickens okay maybe it was roosters and corn on it? But that was not the best one the best one was this amazingly loud turquoise, pink, and tan "Southwest style" that I have not seen since I drove past the apartment dumpster a few years back. I mean some of this stuff is so bad you would not even put it in the garage to sit on with the dog back in the days when I used to smoke the herb.

And then there is the overstuffed microfiber that looks like it came straight from a manufactered home or one of those trailers you buy that come furnished and then everything breaks after a year. I mean really if you sat on it for too long you'd just slide into the dent between the cushions and smother to death because you could not break free of the stuffing. Someone would sit down and think that you were a pillow that got stuffed in there somehow. But the best is the sectional that comes with the stereo cassette deck in the corner with a fridge. You could just install a portapotti on the end and never leave the living room.

And the descriptions

Beautiful 1970s - Damask Polyester leisure suit material
comfy-has a dent worn in the seat.
Nearly new- 8 to 10 years old
great for napping- sweat stains
Only had formal LR- so uncomfortable you can't sit on it for too long or you start looking for the Spanish Inquisition
great for kids- stained covered with blanket been in storage- probably has spider family

These people are so proud of this furniture they are asking outragous prices for it. I mean seriously a used chair for 300.00? What are the screws inlaid with gold or something?
I don't get it. Some of it you could not GIVE AWAY PEOPLE! It has become an obsession now to look at craigs list and see whats for sale. I found a woman selling a those aluminium TV trays with the fake wood inlay from the 70's for 10.00. I saw a acrylic grape hanging lamp for 60.00.

I guess someone will pay for it....

a new kid in town 02/14/2008

As I was going up the stairs to get my shoes I glanced out the window. On the lawn next to my house I saw a beautiful Hawk trying to keep a bird down so he could enjoy a little breakfast. Now I have only seen this up close once before.
Last year on the grass next to work a very small young hawk eating who people were walking RIGHT PAST without seeing ( It was only about 8am) and it was right there .

I have developed a compassion for the animal predators of this world as they have thier place and are Gods form of balance. I called my little boy to come look and we watched thru the window til the hawk carried his prey up into a tree.

Im happy to say I saw it again this morning behind a neighbors house in thier tree. My next door neighbors have a roof falling apart around the seams and TONS of pidgeons and I hope that kid stuffs itself til everyone of those pidgies are gone. Not that I hate the pidgies I just think they are messy and can't be a good thing living almost in the house next door.

So keep your little dogs, your little cats and any other little pets in the house cause there is a new kid in town and he's looking at staying I HOPE!

Orange you glad you aren't a pumpkin? 12/11/2008

In October I bought 2 beautiful big pumpkins for the porch. About a week ago I came out and it looked like someone with a tiny carving knife had been working away on the side. We figured a cat or squirrel was messing around. A couple of days later I come out the door and surprised the squirrel mauling my pumpkin, all I saw was a flash of tail and a spray of seeds. I said " I caught you , you pumpkin molester!" But he just watched from across the street. I see he's made quite a hole in it now. Its big enough for him to climb in and out. Maybe its his hide out like the bat-cave only sort of orange. Or a sort of eco green tree hugger ( haha tree hugger a squirrel!) sort of condo.

Anyway I read on the internet that lots of peoples pumpkins have been molested by our furry friends this year. Scientists say it could be because we are facing a really long, cold, winter. If thats the case I want to hear all about GLOBAL WARMING while Im freezing my ass off here in Oklahoma. Sorry I digress. So I decided if they are eating pumpkins, maybe they would eat old fruit that neds to be thrown away like apples. SO now I have those in the front yard. The birds like them. Maybe for Christmas I'll throw out some oranges and cool whip and old squirrely pants can whip himself up a fruit salad. Or if it ferments maybe he'll get drunk for New Years Eve.....

Ally 12/6/2008




Work work work today was do lotsa make up at the wood. I did a sweet bride and 2 16 year olds for a winter formal who did not need much as they were already pretty much perfect just because thats the way you wake up. You can slick your hair into a dirty ponytail, still have mascara under your eyes from the day before and be adorable.

Then in comes Ally with her Mom. Immediatly her Mom says she's doing CHemo did they tell you that? I said No but thats OK.

I was a little intimidated. I have never had to do make up on someone who had No hair at all anywhere on her darling face( which by the way was exotically beautiful like the painting the girl with the pearl earring by the dutch master, Van Meers.) not even any lashes.

I didnt show it, I just said a little prayer to myself please let me help her feel beautiful again God.

Well it went very well at one point I had my hand on her forehead and her Mom said she's wearing a wig and I said I know I don't want to traumatize her by pulling it off. Then Ally said I don't want you to be traumatized if it falls off and we laughed and joked about it. I asked her if she had lots of different wigs and she said no she wore just the one she wanted to feel normal like it was real hair.

She's very brave and funny, and charming ,and I just fell in love with her and her Mom.

I had a little trouble with the lashes but finally we were done and she kept looking at herself in the mirror and smiling so I knew she felt better. Her Mom looked at me and said Thank you and her eyes were glistening some so I just hugged them both and said take lots of pictures and if you want to come back Im here for you!

Ally looked happy and as they walked out I almost cried.

I can't imagine being her Mom and seeing her baby go thru all that and being able to do nothing, really to change it. Just something small like teaching her to put lashes on Ally made her feel better tho.

All the stupid stuff I worry about, it really amounts to nothing you know. Heres a 16 year old girl, who just wants to go to a Christmas dance and feel normal. To not have everyone look at her like Cancer girl, just to look at her and see Ally. Ally who likes music, her boyfriend, who has good days and bad days, and loves make up and giggling and being with her friends.

Merry Christmas Ally I hope its magic, and Normal all at the same time.

naked kissing or the sex talk 12/2009


My son told his Dad today he wants to know how someone gets pregnant who isnt married. He told my husband I think I know how it happens my cousin told me.
This is what he said.

Dad: So what do you think it is?

Conor: Well it starts with kissing..... and stuff.

Dad: What kind of stuff?

Conor: You know NAKED KISSING! * At which point he buries his head in his knees he's only 8*

Dad: Well yeah that can cause it certainly and then they have a baby like you.

Conor: Do you and Mom naked kiss?

Dad: Well yeah allot.

Conor: Okay I do not want to know anymore thats enough, beyond enough Daddy.

So my friend that is a nurse thinks I should go ahead and just tell Conor all about sex. She says if I can't tell him she will.

I want him to stay innocent a little while longer. I have told him many times if he wants to know something or has any questions please ask me or Dad do not just listen to your friends. Listening to my friends never got me anywhere just more confused.

I remember when I first found out about sex I was about 5 and asked my Mom how she got my brother in her tummy so she told me the ENTIRE process. I of course had not seen anyones penis except the baby and had no way to grasp any of it ( no pun intended) and went off on my jolly way. However when I was 9 I found a copy of "Everything you ever wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask" under my moms bed.

I spent every afternoon after school reading parts of that book and trying to figure out what the hell the big thrill of bumping together your privates could be because that sounded like a bunch of crap to me. I still figured that it was a bunch of crap when I heard stories of teenagers doing STUFF in the backseat, sneaking off in the woods and overheard jokes about sex. In the 6th grade we had to watch some movie from like 1950 about "Your changing body". The girls entered the lunchroom watched the movie and then they left and the boys watched. I still remember the diagrams of little sperm swimming along in black and white. Call me sheltered but I still did not get it until I had my first make out when I was 15 and had the opportunity to roll around unsupervised with a boy for a hour or so. Wow that was an education I didnt see Mr. Penis but I sure knew he was there.

Then one of my girlfriends told me about having sex for her first time. I was shocked to hear that she didn't use any protection because back then we didnt even know about STDs only about GETTING PREGNANT and that was bad. That meant having to come to school wearing maternity clothes and everyone staring at you all the time and feeling sorry for you because your boyfriend dumped you when he found out and called you a slut and all kinds of mean things and even said it was not his. Or maybe you had to get married and drop out and just go to summer school because it was bad to be pregnant at school.

The only person at school who was supposed to be pregnant was grown ups like the school secretary who we all could not believe was pregnant because she was so old ( maybe 40) she shouldn't even be having S E X she was so old. Because when you are that age noone should be having SEX unless they are young and beautiful.

I can say this about my education. On the one hand I had a grasp ( yes its a pun this time in case you didn't recognize it.) on the mechanics but I had no idea of the emotional and physical consequences that my first sexual encounter was to leave me with. The thing I remember most was the feeling of skin on skin, that was magic, and the fact that I didn't want to close my eyes I wanted to see EVERYTHING. I didn't have an orgasm but we worked all that out as we went along....

It was quick that first time, we were both virgins, and I made him wear a rubber which I had carefully put on him to make sure we were safe because I DIDN'T want to be that girl in the hallway at school. (I even went with him to Eckerds when he bought them. We drove 15 miles across town so nobody would know us, heck we should have just gone to the truck stop.) I really believe we were in love. I was not prepared for how love and sex could get so confused. Was I ready? Not really. I was confused about love and on a emotional rollercoaster for 6 years with him and the sex well it was great but it was not everything I wanted. I was emotionally needy and he was young and selfish and didn't understand.

Would I want that for my son? No I want him to be ready emotionally because it can put your heart in a really tender place when you are in it for love and the person you are with is in it for love for about 5 minutes...

But are we ever ready? What do was your first time like? Do you wish it could have been different if so how?

thebigassold/new house from 9/2009


So we got our dream house. WOOHOO. I had my own bathroom for a whole week. Just my stuff, only my soapy ring in the tub the shower curtain smells faintly of sweet when you pull it aside. Clean, white, towels and rug. No stinky boy dirt around the edge.

Plenty of room. No toys scattered across the bottom, a nice little rack for all my girlie stuff.

Well i did share it with the cat. Her food on the sink so the great white shark I mean dog can't eat it.

Then Sat Larry tells me we have water coming out of the cieling. Im back to using the phonebooth after the boys. A big basket of Conors toys in the bottom, and carrying my toiletries like I was living in a dorm.

Now I have a six and a half foot hole in my TV room cieling and may have to rip out the phone booth, I mean shower to fix the leaky faucets in "my bathroom".

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Adventures with Conor Pt 1

Adventures with Conor Part 1





I have a lucky son. He was born in March almost St. Paddys Day. He has two OLDER parents who were so thrilled with him we decided that we should not mess with perfection and decided on the spot to have just the one so we could shower all our love, attention, and money on this little red fuzzed sort of hair speck of humanity. He is the apple of my eye, the song in my heart and the joy in my morning. He carries the hopes of this family on his little slim shoulders. Hopes for him to be a wonderful able-bodied Man who will do great things for God and mankind. But first he has to survive his childhood.







One morning when he was about 18 months I cut up pears his favorite fruit and put him in his high chair which I rolled into the living room so he could watch Teletubbies and I could read a magazine. He was having a great time, he would say "Mommy" and feed me a teeny piece of pear and then he'd have one. I was not really paying much attention so I just automatically opened my mouth when he told me to and he'd put the pear in and laughed. This went on until I felt something slimy. Something beyond the baby slobber slimy, something not supposed to be in your mouth type of feeling of slimy. I jumped up and grabbing a paper towel spit the fruit into it and looked at it. It had poop on it. I had the paper towel and am gagging and gacking and scrubbing the inside of my mouth and making a wierd choky noise which sends him into gales of laughter. I look at him, he has poop on him everywhere. hands, arms, sitting in it , on his legs. I grab the high chair and roll it down the hall to the bathroom and run in the bathroom rinsing my mouth out with water and then Listerine. I even drank a little thinking maybe it would help.

Then I took him out of his chair and stripped his diaper off. This is not firm like a cow patty, or even like ice cream. Now this is like chocolate pudding folks and its everywhere. All over him, the stroller, and now me too. After I finally get us all cleaned up in the shower I put him in his crib and take the entire stroller apart and clean it with bleach and water. It was so clean it looked new, you could have done surgery on that high chair. I put it outside to dry. Meanwhile he is screeching and squawking because he does not like being confined.

Thats when it hits me. I ate poop, it was in my mouth and Im going to get Ebola, or E Coli, or Mad Cow Disease and die. My sweet darling son stuck his hand in his poop and fed it to me. I look on the internet yup poop is not a good thing to eat but you cant do anything about it.

I just had to wait and see if I got sick or he did. Luckily we didnt.

But it gave new meaning to the saying " you can only eat shit one mouthful at a time."

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Boxing Bunnies for Easter





It was a beautiful morning. Dropped the Conor off at school and changed into my jumpin around clothes to meet Jenn at the park for my buddy workout. As I was pulling in I got a text from my buddy saying she couldn't meet me she wasn't feeling well. She will be sorry she wasn't there. It was highly entertaining.


We started warming up to the sound of the all hispanic roofing crew banging away and casting curious glances at us as we did our stretches and talked about what we were going to do. Now in case you DIDn't know Jennifer Maynard my trainer is a professional Boxer and certified Instructor of Krav Maga a form of Deadly Israeli Self Defense. You would never know looking at her. Young. curvy like a pin up, cheerful sweet natured kick your ass machine. In order to build my fitness level and keep from being bored she is teaching me Boxing. Now one of the big things in boxing is the jump rope. You know you have seen it in the Rocky movies, the boxer training, the rope tick tick tick on the floor, the feet alternating like a dancers, quick and graceful. So she says "Hey have you ever jump roped?" I say "Yeah when I was about 10 but I was not great at it." I think the last time I was great at it I was about 9 and could run in and out if other people were turning it which was fun but who enjoys jumping rope alone? So I just quit and moved on to other things like getting the hell knocked out of me in dodgeball or crack the whip. But you know my journey goals are to BE OPEN to learn new things so Im not bored working out therefore I accepted the jump rope and lined myself up with it. First jump my foot got caught and I fell right on my ass in the park.
I did a quick am I hurt no Im not and then burst out laughing hysterically and rolling in the grass. I looked up at the trees and all I could imagine was what those roofers were thinking as they watched my one attempt at the rope and subsequent fall from grace.
Juan: "Wow did you see that?"
Don :"Ouch that looked like it might have hurt."
Juan: "Nah did you see that round mama, she's not hurt, she's so padded she's bouncy! I hope she does it again I like bouncy girls wanna take a smoke break and see what else happens?"

Jenn kept asking "Are you OK?" I finally composed myself and got back up she said "You fell so gracefully." Im sure she was being kind I felt like I fell like a two year old. we moved on to some other torture calisthenics for my legs. Im sure I looked like a wierd kettle ball worshipper lunging from tree to tree holding it over my head. After that was the best part though, THE BOXING PART.

She is moving backwards with the pads I am punching for all Im worth trying to watch my form so she doesn't smack me with the pad in the head for not keeping my hands up, sweat is running in my eyes and I was getting TIE_RED. Just then this purple VW Bug goes by and I see from the corner of my eye two girls howling out the windows as loud as they can "YOU GO GIRL, GIT IT, KILL IT. GOOOOOOO!" that was what I needed I punched jennifer all the way down the sidewalk and then started laughing.

I fell down, I got up, I got cheerleaders, and kept punching when I wanted to give in. It kind of mirrors my life allot of days.

What a perfect day. Thanks GOD

Monday, April 4, 2011

No free lunch


Last year to celebrate spring and because she listened to me say I wished I had one and because she is such a sweet person my friend Sandra gave me a bird feeder and a bag of seed. Larry hung it up in the tree outside of the window that I face when Im on the computer so I could see the birdies eating out of it. I love most birds. The Mockingbirds, the BlueJays, the Robins, the little sparrows. I went and filled up the feeder and waited for the birds. After a couple of days I asked Sandra she said "Oh put some food around it and they will find it." So I scattered some seed and still no birds. After a week I dumped the old seed out and put in new seed. Still no birds. I kept a little seed in it all the time but I was discouraged. One day I see out of the corner of my eye that the feeder is almost empty. I hunker down and watch and no bird, no sweet songbird, no delicate feathered triller is coming to the tree. No its a hairy, conniving, sneaky, flea riddled SQUIRREL! The cheeky bastard! He comes along the rope, hangs upside down and sticks his grabby little claw paw in the feeder and just shovels seed into his mouth like a little furry pig. I like squirrels OK but I dont want them near my house. The next thing you know they discover your attic, get in and you have a tribe of them eating your wires, tearing your insulation, using the attic as a toilet or crawling in and DIEING in the wall somewhere. Stay in the trees where you belong you cheeky varmints.

They are almost impossible to get rid off. I know people who have installed chicken wire and grenades along the houseline to keep them out. They are insidious like the fog they just find a way in. I have heard tales of people shooting at them with pellet guns and then they find a stuffed cat with a noose around its neck on the front porch the next morning and a note that says "Fluffys next if you don't stop."

The dogs have a personal vendetta against them. Especially Commader Cali the cattle dog. At our old house she took out 7 of them and it was ugly. They would line up along the garage roof and stare longingly at the berry and pecan tree, but she would be there. looking, waiting, mouth open and big white teeth showing....
Harry Squirrel: "Isn't that a bitch . Man I really need a berry fix but I just dont know if I should risk it. Look at that its anough to make me pee right here in front of everyone."
DOODIE Squirrel: " I know did you see? It just jumped in the air and grabbed Bob last week. It shook him till his teeth just flew out and then threw him in the corner like an old shoe. I almost fell off the roof when it grabbed him, it could have been me next. God poor Bob. Then those other ones just threw him in the trash. "

At this house they are smarter, quicker, and have a very high tree. Cali can't reach them and it drives her crazy. They sit up there throwing sticks and shouting taunts and obscenities. They come right down to where she can see into the eyes and give the "Im watching you signal to her." Furry thugs. Even with her trusty yorkshire sidekick Captain lowrider the best they have done is get one trapped in between the wooden and wire fence and scared it so bad it hung onto the top of the fence and wouldn't move till I made them come in. It was a squirrel stand off. They would have sat there forever just waiting for it to move. Praying for a misstep...

I have not filled the feeder in a few months. Cheeky comes back every once in awhile and looks.
Go ahead. No mas....