Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Best we can


reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of aperson or thing; confidence.
confident expectation of something; hope.
confidence in the certainty of future payment for propertyor goods received; credit: to sell merchandise on trust.
a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is mytrust.
the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.

Troubles all these troubles, troubles all around....thats a line from one of my favorite Jon Dee Graham songs. I was laying in bed this morning the storm woke me up but I couldn't go back to sleep because I was thinking so much about all the troubles. They were like clouds in my head, beloved people with cancer, family troubles, money troubles, sick babies, our pick up thats probably going to last a week if we are lucky...all rolling around clacking like a bag of marbles.

I was thinking thinking thinking how do you fix all this? Where do you start? And most of all how do you accept what you can't fix? I felt a stirring by my feet and looked down to see my little 16 year old Lilly cat coming up to me for pets. She was a grateful distraction. I thought of how trusting she is. She doesn't worry that there will be no food or water or enough love. She believes that when she comes to me I will give her that. She trusts me has faith in me, lives in this moment. 
As I stroked her soft fur a voice in my heart said "trust me".

 I almost laughed. Gods so easy. He just wants us to be like that little cat. Just believe that there is something more. Peace , love, faithful hearts, tomorrow will be here and it might rain or it might be sunny but tomorrow will come and we will walk through the day and be in the night and we may feel alone, but we are not because the loves all around us no matter what. Gods love that surpasseth all understanding. Tonight right now I am surrendering to that trust....

 As I drifted off I thought of the trust I have with Larry and Conor. I could hear Conor stirring in his room and feel Larrys warm arm against my  side and thought this really all I need. And its all good, and yes we are all doing the best we can and standing in trust together...

"It aint the winning it aint the losing its the going on beyond our choosin that makes us KINGS"

Jon Dee Graham

1 comment:

  1. I really like this post Suz. It comes at a good time for me. Love ya!