Monday, May 16, 2011

You gotta love a plan 11/21/2006



You gotta love a plan..... Thanksgiving 
Current mood:  artistic
So here we are in 1608 North America. Hardly any white folk around but lots of indians, ( this will not be PC because I am a indian and do not mind being called one) some friendly, some fierce as if they had a premonition about how crappy it would be after the tourists come and never leave. 

In this one tribe in Massachussetts on the coast there was a tribe called the Patuxets who were really friendly and trusting, the sort of people who would help anybody. In this day and age they would be the ones you see at the side of the road helping somebody change a tire, or working for Habitat for Humanity building a house, or if they were female going thru and taking all the hand me downs in the house to the Salvation Army. 

So one day this group of young braves ( thats indian for boys) were hanging out at the shoreline dreaming of the day that television and MTV was invented or some of them Football, when this one who was about 12 saw a giant ship and hollahed at the others. 

Tisquantum or Squanto for short was about as cool a cat as you could ever want to hang with. He was really everybodys kinda guy, the most popular one. He had his hair cut in the latest style and had Santa Fe style beadwork on his moccs and he looked really amazing. 

He saw that these men looked different they wore really strange clothes and had allot of hair, all over but the white guys did not know about organic hair and shaving products. So they were stinky, dirty, and hairy. All over. But that did not scare Squanto. 

He had heard the older guys talking about this sort of stranger coming and bringing Bling Bling, pampered chef cookware, and shiny knives. And they were not too bright all they wanted was animal hides, half the time they took the ones left in the recycle pile. 

So Squanto said " Hey lets jam down there and see what kind of loot they have to trade with us." They all ran down to the edge where the strangers offered them some hot wings and cheese sticks but all of a sudden the strangers just went off and jumped on the braves and wailed on them and then tied them up and dragged them to the big ship. Then they threw them in the hold and slammed the door shut and laughed loud and maniacally. Probably having a Bi Polar episode. Squanto was scared now, I'm guessing he wished he had a way to tell these guys that he got seasick but it would not have done any good. They were kidnapped and off to take a cruise but without the buffett and girls in bikinis. I'm pretty sure that everybody was hurling at one time or another.

Squanto could not believe this had happened to him, one minute your out with the guys having a great time, the next your in a smelly, ship, tied up in the dark. They sailed for a really long time. So long that Squanto believed they would never get there. Sort of like being in Dallas rush hour traffic.

But finally the ship landed and they hauled Squanto and his entourage out into the daylight.They stuck them in these boats and took them to the shore. It was hot, dusty, and bright, in Malaga, Spain. Unfortunately there was not a Mariachi band waiting to welcome them.

Then the bad guys forced the braves to stand around while they sold them off one by one
Squanto watched while each one was led away. It was really depressing. He knew that he was in trouble and just could not imagine it getting much worse. All because he was curious about the snack tray...

But the big guy was looking out for his little dude Squanto. He had sent some of his gang to the dock that day with some heavy cash to pick up a few things. So one of the gang hollered when Squanto came up and the seller took the cash and turned Squanto over to the Gang of men. 

Now the Gang members were kind to Squanto they took him to thier crib to hang and got him cleaned up, some new threads, some good food and let him know they were not going to hurt him. So when they could help him understand they told him the gang was called the Monks and they worshipped God who can see everything thats ever happened and all that will happen to all of the world. They said Hey little Dude God loves everybody, including you, he takes all the stuff that happens and makes it allright if you just believe and trust him.

So Squanto hung out with the Monks and learned some Spanish, and the Monks learned some indian and they taught each other about the different ways to cook and grow and how to use herbs for different things. They could have put Martha Stewert to shame. But sometimes the monks could see that Squanto was sad and knew he was homesick. 

They all got together and decided that they would help him go back to America. But first he had to get to London, England, because all the trading ships went there before sailing across the Atlantic. They had to load up on all the Stuff they were taking to all the other countries who they traded with.

So after 5 years Squanto and the Monks threw down a big going away bash and Squanto hugged everybody and went off to London. The Monks made sure that Squanto would be OK and sent him to live with a Merchant named John Slanie and his family. A merchant is kind of like the people who own the little convenince store where you get your gas and lottery tickets. 

So Mr. Slanie told Squanto Hey look its gonna be awhile til a ship is going to your place but while we are waiting I'll teach you english,and how to act like us ( not the bad guys the good ones) and maybe you can get a job on one of the ships because they need trilingual guys and you could definately fit that in so lets make a 5 year plan for you OK?

Squanto said Hey no prob, can I crash here and work, I like horses I could do that for my room and board? So he stayed with the Slanies til 1618 when he finally found a ride back to America. He could not believe it had been 10 years since he had been home. He waved goodbye to the Slanies and the ship sailed along til it got to Newfoundland where he stayed til spring. he hung out and learned French and then when it was time got back on the ocean and sailed on his way home. 

He wondered whether anybody had changed, and if they would remember him. He could not wait to eat some Indian Tacos and tell everybody all about his adventures.

When they finally got there he could not believe he was finally home, he was thanking God for getting him there and he ran faster than Lance in the Tour De France back to his village he was so excited.

But when he arrived there was nobody there. It was emptier than a box of Chicken after a picnic, so he ran as fast as he could to the neighbors and they had awful news. A virus had killed everybody even the animals. 

Squanto was so bummed out he could not bear it. Why had this happened to him? all that he had been thru to get home and now this... The neighbors wanted to help him so they tried to make him feel at home there. They got him his own little bachelor pad and some stuff to put in it but Squanto could not help it, everytime he looked at the people he thought of everything he had lost. He felt like he was in the dark without a light anywhere. He felt so alone. 

He thought maybe a weekend wilderness retreat might help so he took his camping gear and went to commune with God in the beauty of the forest. He was full of pain about losing his family, full of doubt about what he was created for, what was the reason for all this? 

So he lived all winter in the forest and God waited on Squanto to trust him again because he's faithful like that. Pretty soon Spring came and then Bambi, Thumper and all the little Disney critters were everywhere and flowers and stuff and Squanto had a visitor. 

The man was from another village and his name was Samoset.He said Hey Squanto you look good, fit, you been living organic Huh? Samoset told Squanto about this group of aliens who had landed in a ship at Squantos old place and were living there. Samoset said, Wow man its crazy you have to come and see this you won't believe it they look like freaks the way they dress and everything. So Squanto said Hey whatever I could use a walk.

You gotta remember Squanto had seen allot in his 22 years so it was hard to freak him out. But he was surprised at how the village looked, and these Aliens they were English people. Squanto walked up and said Hey how you doin? The english people were amazed and Squanto filled them in on what all had happened to him to be there and know all about Londontown and being English.

Then they told him about how they were trying to find a new place to live. They were called Pilgrims but not like when John Wayne says Pilgrim in the cowboy movies. Like the guy on the oatmeal box. See they wanted to worship God in a different way but the King arrested them and threw a bunch of them in jail.

So everybody got together and ran away to Holland and had a pretty good life, there was the tulips, the clogging, the fish but they were afraid that the kids would forget about being English so they all decided to try this place called the New World. They really trusted that God wanted them to be free ( hmmmm so many people come here for that) and would help them find a new home.

So they landed and called it Plymouth because that was hometown for most of them.But it was really hard they were weak from the voyage, the snow came and they could not get the houses built fast enough, they didnt have enough to eat, it was bad real bad. Some of them just could not make it. Squanto knew what it was like to lose all the people he loved, and he admired them for being so brave. About that time the governor ( yes they had a governor even if it was just a few dirty little huts in massachussetts) William Bradford said Hey Squanto you know in the bible Joseph got kidnapped and sold for a slave. But you know God saw the big picture and put Joseph where he could do the most good. So even tho it was all bad it turned out all good. Do you think maybe You are our Joseph?

Squanto liked the sound of that and he liked the Pilgrims so he stayed and taught them how to grow food, where the best fishing holes were, how great Lobster was even without butter. 

Well the Pilgrims wanted to have a big party to honor God and his goodness. They asked Squanto and Samoset to come and bring some friends. Well Squanto and Samoset were raised by great Moms who taught them never go visit empty handed so they gathered up about 88 other guys and they came with deer and turkeys and lots of veggies and the pilgrims were like Wow you shouldnt have gone to all the trouble but come on in!

So after everything was cooked and a place was made for everybody the big kahuna Governor Bradford said a prayer, Thanks allot God for our good buddy Squanto. We know that you led him on his life journey and brought him thru all his troubles so he could be here to help us when we had just about gave up. 

(See Squanto was like Obi wan Kenobi in the Star wars movie. He saved the good guys when it looked really bad.)

So Squanto opened his heart to God even more and said Thanks God, you know my gang the monks told me you had big plans for me but I could not see it til today. What a great thing you have done bringing us all together the way you have, I love you man, Amen.

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