Monday, May 16, 2011

Mr Helper Man 3/17/08


So its Friday night we had some dinner and decide to run over to Borders and look at books cause that’s what we all love. Conor was pretty exciteable and kinda bouncing around we thought going out for awhile might calm him down a little.

So we pick some books out, wander around for an hour then and get to the line Conor almost knocks a book stand over so Larry gets him by the Shoulder/neck pulls him over and says "If you don’t calm down right now your gonna be in big trouble.."

We hear someone say "Don’t grab that kid like that."
We thought it was a friend teasing us but no....

We all turn around and DADADAH! Its MR. Helper Man! He with a bad attitude who’s gonna fix everything whether it needs it or not! Defender of Imagined injustice and conflict resolution resolver. His motto is "If I think it needs a nail I’ll put it in with a sledge hammer!"

Larry says "Pardon me?"

MHP " You heard me don"t jerk that kid around like that how would you like it if I did that to you you fat fuck? How bout I take you outside and do that to you?"

Larry "Im not hurting him."

MHP "Oh right"

Me " So are you the world police?"

MHP "Well no"

Me " I can assure you he’s far from abused. You seem overly affected by it why, did your Dad grab you and push you around?"

MHP " No he was not a PRICK like him. "

Me" You need to back up right now and HOW DARE YOU use language like that in front of my son!"

MHP"Im sure thats the least of his worries."

By this time Im so angry my ears are ON FIRE! I have not been pissed like that since, my neighbor told his OBNOXIOUS plumber he could come thru my back yard with a giant back hoe and he tore my yard up like a construction site! It takes all my Jesus Lovin control to not come over the aisle, grab this guy by the ears and smack him in the mouth. The F word is simmering on my lips like deep fryer of potatoes at McDonalds. I thought BLOOD was gonna shoot outta my eyes.

I can hardly hear Larry saying "Come on Honey lets go now." It’s only because of Gods Grace and my son that I managed to pull myself together. I leaned over about six inches from this guys nose and said very quietly" You are an ass." Larry is gently pulling my arm " Come on honey..."

We get to the car and Conor says"What was wrong with that guy Dad?" 
Larr" He thought he was helping you COnor."

Conor" Mom did you almost say the F Word? "

Me "Yes but I was trying not to."

Conor" He made me want to say the F word too!"

We talked about it with Conor so he would not be worried. Larry teased me and called me the Chihuahua because of the way I went after that guy. 

I was proud of Larry. Because of all his Martial arts not to mention his size he could have snapped that guy like a twig. I know he was angry and embaressed but he didnt show it he was very calm. But BECAUSE of his Aikido training he just blended with the situation and let it roll over him like rain. I was glad because I would not like Conor to see his Dad hurt someone even if they deserved it. We got home and I was still ramped up he said "Suz just breathe it out..." 

That night for prayers we lifted up Mr Helper Man and asked God to help him calm down and not hurt peoples feelings. I really struggled. Because you see Mr Helper Man you bullied my family, My Husband by accusing him of being an abuser, and my son with your language and attitude, and that in turn helped me turn into a raging ball of temper who was thinking of doing VERY bad things to you.

But I do owe you a thank you. You helped my son and all those people see how a REAL man acts when he’s confronted with a bully like you..... I guess God works in mysterious ways.
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